A Dose of History

Veni, Vidi, Vici

After beating Pharnaces II for control of Pontus, Julius Caesar announced his victory with that simple phrase meaning “I came, I saw, I conquered.”

This phrase has also been said by countless men after they veni inside of a woman.

(Source: historyhaha)

Caesar’s full name is Gaius Julius Caesar and that Caesar is really pronounced “Ki-zar,” where English speakers get the Russian ruler “Czar” from.

The naming of Roman’s went as follows; first name was the praenomen (Gaius), second was the gens (Julius) which was essentially the clan, and the final was the Cognomen (Caesar) that was like a nickname.

Occasionally, there would also be virtues one had as they progressed in age. So, if I really wanted a “Roman” type name, I would be Joshua Rivard Jivard Gawky.

I’m glad we got rid of that.

You know that flag you see in every “Southern Boy’s” truck? The same truck with the “balls of steel” trailer hitch and Calvin from Bill Watterson’s favored comic strip peeing on something? 

Yeah, this one. Guess what, it isn’t the “Stars and Bars” or even the “Confederate Flag.” This is the battle flag they used sporadically. The “Stars and Bars” was the flag that came around for the Confederate nation and looked a lot like the Enclave flag from Fallout.

Above is the proper “Stars and Bars” used until 1863. Afterwards, they used the “Stainless Banner” until March of 1865 pictured below.

But this made them look like they were surrendering to Union forces, so they changed the flag again to the “Blood Stained Banner” for a whopping month before they were crushed by the Union in April of 1865 as seen below.

So now when you see some “Rebel” with the “Stars and Bars” on his truck, you can now know that he looks pretty much like a jackass with the wrong flag and that he really isn’t even a “rebel.” He’s apparently battling something. What is he battling? Documented history.

(Source: historyhaha)

boothyy reblogged your post: Fun Historical Facts to Annoy Your Friends

Considering he was shot repeatedly then wrapped up…carpet, thrown into a icey river and…

His murder and death isn’t exactly 100% known either seeing as it is all eyewitness reports and that the autopsy done could’ve been influenced by Russians in high authority (the ones whom killed him).

However, it’s still funny to tell your friends this and they go, “Wait, what the fuck?”

Why was there a period called the “Dark Ages?”

Because of all the knights!

(Source: historyhaha)

When Rasputin died, they cut off his penis and preserved it in a jar. 

It’s probably the world’s most expensive dildo

(Source: historyhaha)

If you’ve got a historical event, figure, or place then please put it in our ask!

We love hearing from you guys. We don’t mean love like France “loved” Joan of Arc. Like Zeus loved his sister Hera. You could say they had an electrifying relationship…

But joking aside, please put your ideas into our ask at http://historyhaha.tumblr.com/ask

Thanks!